Love In the Time of 'Rona': How to Keep the Fire Burning Amidst Your Cancelled Wedding
The current situation with the pandemic and the enforced lockdown on certain places have definitely turned everything upside down.
Besides the fear of the coronavirus and the anxiety that comes with the quarantine are a slew of problems every engaged couple probably did not imagine they'll have to face too soon—the struggle to keep connected (if living apart) or disconnected from each other if staying under one roof.
A lot of couples have stepped up to share about their fair share of struggles. Some find the inability to see each other in person a trying time for their relationship, while others who happen to be living together are being driven up against the wall because they can't actually get the space they need from each other—FYI, this is no laughing matter.
In fact, several countries have reported a spike on the number of divorce cases because couple fights have become more common during this time. Now imagine any of this being something you have to deal with on top of thinking about your canceled wedding ceremony. It's not a pretty picture to find yourself in.
The question now is, how do you exactly deal with all the stress? Below are some tips that can help keep your love burning in a time of viruses, lockdowns, and canceled weddings.
1. Set a tone of partnership between you and your beau when it comes to dealing with problems.
Having limited options when it comes to distance (whether you are living separately from your partner or stuck with them till heaven's know when) can be tough to deal with, especially so if you have a postponed wedding to deal with.
It is normal for communications to be strained so you have to set a tone of partnership early on. Expect that the two of you will have lots to fix together and the last thing you need is to waste time arguing about this and that.
Feeling overwhelmed by everything that is happening? Take everything step by step. If there's one good thing you can get out of the bleak situation, it's that you can perfect your partnership with your future beau!
Consider this a dry run for when you finally get married. Have a game plan! If you think you two would work better doing all the decisions together, then good. If you prefer to do things separately, however, section off a big task into segments, divide it between the two of you, and leave the accountability of the decision-making to just one person only so you don't butt heads. By the time you get married, at least you two have had some practice!
2. Delegate the work that needs to be done.
Postponing your wedding means you have a lot of loose ends to pick up and fix so everything can easily feel overwhelming. The best way to go about this is to divide the legwork between yourselves to prevent burnout.
For example, contacting all your suppliers can be pretty tough so assign a list to your beau and have your own pile to work with. The same goes for communicating your new plans with your guests as well. Have your future spouse update their side of family and friends to talk about your decision while focusing on your own group of guests, too.
3. Think of Plan B, but don't overdo it.
Now that you have decided to postpone your wedding, you are probably itching to get back into setting up your new plan stat. This is great because this means you aren't letting the situation get you down, but be careful not to make unnecessary stress for you! It is good practice to start drafting new plans or setting things up for your new wedding schedule, but do not rush yourself to make big decisions.
The thing is, while a lot of places are finally recovering from the pandemic and lightening up their restrictions, everything is still volatile at this point. Things might snap back anytime and your plans might get scrapped again.
Now, we are not saying that you should act all lax and lazy. Of course, there are things you need to be swift to take action on like whether or not you need to trim down your guest list to accommodate precautions, but do you really need to decide which table cloth to go with your new table set-up since you are moving to a different wedding venue?
Choose your battles. There is no need to unnecessarily put stress upon yourselves at this point in time.
4. Don't take anything too seriously and HAVE FUN!
Hey, just because you can't have a wedding ceremony, doesn't mean you should put your love on hold. If anything, you need to ramp up the honeymoon feels as early as now to keep the "passion" burning. You don't even need to be fancy with this. All you need to do is to get a little creative. Do something special with your partner like having a fun contest where you two compete to pitch new wedding ideas and have your friends decide the winner. Or you can take photos (whether you are together or apart) and share this with your wedding guests to fill them in about how you two are doing.
You can even compile these photos and put them in a photo book that you can easily share with others or keep as a memorabilia. It's a big hassle that you're living through this time, but hey, you have to admit that it makes for a good story to share in the near future, too!
Recent times have affected couples, especially so those whose wedding plans have been affected, in big ways. And while feeling frustrated is normal, you shouldn't let this get in the way of your relationship with your partner.
To work through this together, the first thing you need to do as a couple is to acknowledge how the situation makes you feel and then start a game plan from there. If it helps, you can even frame this as a sort of positive test for your future marriage. Once you've gotten out of this together, you can get through anything in the future!